One of most important vendor in your wedding is your marriage celebrant. Your celebrant will perform the legal part of your wedding day, and will guide you through the process of creating a unique and meaningful ceremony.
This week, we met one of our favourite and recommended vendors by Alen Kontra Photography, Tim Barnes , to chat about the role of a celebrant, and how to find the right one for you.
Tell me a little about yourself and why you became a celebrant.
I became a celebrant in 2017 when my mate asked me to do his ceremony. They had a ‘courthouse’ wedding but wanted a friend to be up there with them for the main event. I absolutely loved it and decided to look into becoming qualified. It has been one of the most rewarding decisions of my life and I’m so glad I’ve been able to take this path.
I’m 32, and live with my girlfriend in Melbourne. I love coffee (there may be a slight addiction there!) and getting out to nature.
What is the most enjoyable part of your job?
I get a lot out of how meaningful getting married is.
Seeing the emotion that overtakes couples as they say their vows. It often sticks with me for a long time after the ceremony. You can have these normally very reserved people go to water as they say those words of love and commitment. It’s a beautiful time of vulnerability that makes us realise why we’re all gathered together.
How would you describe your celebrant style?
Flexible, warm and confident.
I think my best asset is being able to speak and be heard by the full range of guests. I put a lot of work into familiarising myself with each ceremony so I don’t have to refer to notes. This enables me to be more engaging with guests, making eye-contact and being a good host.
How far before a wedding should a couple book their celebrant?
Most couples try to lock in their suppliers pretty early on. It’s important to get the venue, videographers / photographer and celebrant booked in as they can often only do one wedding per day. This means that demand is a bit higher. Once booked in we usually start to discuss the ceremony and legalities around 9 months prior to the big day.
How much involvement should a couple have in the writing of the ceremony?
Couples should have as much input as they need to make sure the ceremony is about them. It is up to the celebrant to prompt this and make sure that all elements the couple wants are covered. I feel the celebrant should present different options for both the style and wording of the ceremony, being flexible to make changes as required.
Do you think a ceremony rehearsal is necessary?
I think rehearsals are great for a few reasons. Firstly, they give you a chance to block out where everyone is supposed to walk and stand so they know what they’re doing on the day. It’s one thing to have the ceremony mapped out on paper, but actually standing there in the space can be a very different experience. Secondly, they build the excitement that this is actually happening!
The ceremony in the last week is also the best opportunity to sign the final Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage as it is generally the closest date to the wedding day that the couple and celebrant will meet.
In the lead up to a wedding, what have you noticed your clients doing that ensures a great wedding experience?
Making time for themselves. I know it seems counter-intuitive when it can be such a stressful time. But if you can get all the hard work out of the way by the final week then, focus on your partner. Practice your first dance, go out for dinner, hold each other and take a breath. Take in the fact that you’re about to take the next step together.
What are the key ingredients to a meaningful ceremony?
A good passage where the celebrant talks about the couple’s journey that brings them to be married. It is important to make sure your celebrant knows all the details about how they met and a little bit of harmless dirt on each of them to add colour. This part of the ceremony also offers a slice of life to the guests so they can see what makes the couple so well suited.
Music is also really important to set the tone. It’s not all String Quartets playing Pachabel anymore! Choose meaningful songs to walk in to, 3 for during the signing ceremony, and 1 to accompany your walk down the aisle together!
What advice do you have for couples to ensure they experience a wonderful wedding ceremony?
My advice is to try to relax. When the bride arrives and you join hands for the first time it’s a great time to smile at each other, and have a little joke. The guests will see this and feed off your energy. Weddings are supposed to be fun and joyous and the couple can really do a lot to set the tone.
Any special advice on dealing with wedding-day nerves?
Let them happen! Nerves aren’t a sign that you’re worried about things, per se. It’s a build up of adrenaline and anticipation. Stay hydrated. If you’re having a drink or two to calm yourself, go one-for-one with water and don’t go over the top!
For brides, more so than grooms, the preparation can be tough. Make-up artists, photographers and videographers. florists etc all need to be coordinated. A really good thing to do is make sure your suppliers all check in with you on the morning of the big day to ensure you they’re all on track. This puts your mind at ease so you’re not worried with the unknown.
What wedding ceremony trends have you noticed over last couple years?
Writing your own vows. It’s been happening for a long time, but couples are very interested in personalising their own vows to make them extra special. It is an opportunity to really make your own mark on the ceremony and guests love it!
Couples are also a lot more savvy to having a theme to their wedding. It is not uncommon to see a common colour scheme or style that is carried through from Save the Dates, to the ceremony to the reception.
How can people get in contact with you?
The easiest way to get in touch is via my wesbite https://www.timbarnescelebrant.com/contact
Website: https://www.timbarnescelebrant.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timbarnescelebrant/
Photography in Blog by: Alen Kontra Photography
